Something new under the sun

I’ve got an issue with the phrase: “There’s nothing new under the sun”. Bullshit. There is so much innovation going on it’ll make your head spin trying take it all in.

On the pedantic flipside, however, the reasoning behind such a pessimistic statement is this. Since the universe has had a couple of billion years head start, it’s fair to assume that by blind chance and optimization, nearly everything we can think of can be attributed to something existing in nature already. For example, biological ingenuity refinement (how do I personify without intelligent design connotations?) already created the motor millions of years ago, in the form of a little bundle of proteins called ATP synthase. And by last check, our brains are still the best, most efficient computers.

It really boils down to how far you stretch the definition of ‘new’. Do we only perceive something as ‘new’ if it is evolutionary rather than revolutionary? I doubt it.

What about this? A set of utensils on a pen cap called Din-Ink. It’s an ingenious new idea. Dull name though. I’m proposing Upensil (a collective groan from the audience).

Ok, seriously, that was just taking two existing, commonplace ideas and combining them in a clever and elegant way. This is where the saying above has some merit, because the vast majority of new inventions (or plotlines or lyrics for that matter) are just slight variations on existing ones and not entire paradigm shifts. Like a non-stick frypan or a jet-engine powered beer cooler - these are things that keep our patent attorneys rubbing their diamond encrusted hands together while rustling through their pool filled with $100 bills.

But what about the laser? (You know, the thing that silently reads your CD’s or shoots down rogue taepodongs.) The ability to harness light to such a precise degree is quite a remarkable achievement that nowadays we just take for granted. There is no real precedent anywhere in nature for the laser, not really. Closest thing might be a pulsar.

Taming and control of light might be akin to domestication of animals; though domestication of cellular organisms is likely to be already patented by nature somewhere. If humans are so protective of our ideas and inventions, I wonder if that’s a unique occurance; something nova sub Sol? There’s probably a whole sequence of redundant DNA coding dedicated to copyright and terms of use. The gods are probably pissed off at all the Promethean plebeians running around down here.

So what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, when we stare, bleary-eyed and jaded into that glass of unspecified liquid, it appears half empty. And we say, “innovation is so passe. Seen it all. Now it’s just down re-arranging deckchairs on the Titanic”. Even this post is probably just a rehash of something already existing on the internet. I know one day I’ll be old and stubborn (as opposed to young and stubborn…) but I love the prospect of new ideas and inventions. It’s so stimulating.

It’s probably bad form to dispute cliches but screw etiquette, I’ll do it anyway. Since when has sliced bread been so darn sexy that it can rarely be toppled from its lofty podium? I mean, some Neolithic baker probably concocted a huge loaf one day and sat around scratching his beard trying to figure out how to eat the whole thing. And verily did Og raise a crude stone implement and did cleave thy bread in twain! And you wanna tell me nothing has yet topped that achievement?